The Art of Appreciative Indifference

I am reading this wonderful book right now: Your Money or Your Life.  I ordinarily do not like books about managing money or making money or being the next millionaire.  Not that Suze Orman is too aggressive or anything, but Suze Orman is too aggressive.  Your Money or Your Life is just right in a Zen sort of way.  

I knew the book would be right for me when, in its first few pages, it referenced the seminal book on voluntary simplicity (titled, ahem, Voluntary Simplicity) by Duane Elgin. 

So, what nugget have I learned in this book on my “incessant learning” quest? 

• Separate your work from your wages! 

What does that mean? 

1. You are not your work. (Don’t confuse what you do with who you are.)  Thus, the cocktail answer to the cocktail question shouldn’t always be “I am this” or “I am that.”  How about “I am Chris. I love habanero peppers and spending time with my wife and son.  Oh, and I work for wages as a copy editor.”

2. Don’t let work get you stressed. You won’t let work get you stressed if you realize that your work is not the essence of who you are (this is, evidently, the way many people think.  You can see them buzzing from place to place, all hurried and harried, because their job is so stressful).  A good side effect to this realization is that you’ll actually get more done simply because you’re not letting your self-important ego get in the way to distract you.

3. Be ego-free.  Since your work is not the world’s focus, you can actually free yourself from self-importance and accomplish more with your time. Self-importance and excessive worry is downright tiring. In law school, there were many (some, to be fair) egos controlling their owners, directing them to speak like a self-important lawyer should speak, or argue for the sake of argument and put-downs, etc.  (You can find this anywhere – not just law school.) I tried to steer away from all that.  By separating your work from your wages, you will realize that being ego-free is truly the way to go. 

4. Reach for higher things.  Without worrying about what other people think about me or my work, I can do the best job with what I have.  In my current work for wages as a copy editor / project manager, I build the best Web sites I can utilizing my language and interviewing strengths.  This work bolsters my pursuit of other goals and interests, such as appellate advocacy and novel writing. Without worrying about whether or not certain things actually happen, I can pursue my interests knowing that I only fail when I refuse to try again. 

So when I separate my real self from my wages, I realize that I’m more than my job, and it feels pretty good.